all i want for christmas is you

take her with you
hold her in your arms
a way to show you care
and will never let her fall
fingers intertwined
a promise of forever
to look her in the eyes
and know she'll always be there.
she looks you in the eye
a glimmer of love
whispers of never
sadness fills her heart
to know it couldn't ever be her

always let down
brought up and slammed again
the glimmer of hope. sears your retnas and pierces your heart
a way into you
a way into me
blocked by arrogance and fright.
scared of what would ever happen if i said anything more
too much
too little
but too late to ever believe anything else
you're so stubborn
to block out your heart
in order to keep mine.

blind

you made me understand the debris will never go away
the pain will never heal
you alienate yourself
only to make it worse on me
ive tried
ive failed
what more can i do?
jealousy can only run through my head so much
i should start to run
and jump the hurdles, but you will only make me fall
you are all i think about
you are all i want to think about
i dont know what to do
bur just let me be
with you
"we are the real, the truth is unchangin'. this is the call to hearts that aren't beatin'"
oh.

oops she did it again

say hello to the biggest liar around
line up cause baby, its gonna be a show
look up ever word you can't understand
but baby you ain't gonna be defined
ban regrets

loves you, loves you more

sick and tired of waiting
tired of waiting to get sick.
would take some cough medicine
but you, baby, are the only thing
thats gonna cure this headache
sore throat
sore heart
gotta get that triple bypass
hoping it'll clear my mind too
stat...
...clear
get out of the way
cause im comin through.

come on come on

take it like a man
lie straight through your teeth.
going through everything trying to find a word
that rhymes with hate
(every) obligatory "dont worry dolly,
you won't feel a thing."
walking down the pews
nervously
confessing to everything shes done
judging on her innocence
she's pretty damn guilty if you ask me.
but it's too late now
she waited
and waited
and wanted you to know she was still there
holding up the flag of
"im still here"
remember me?
you love to hate her
but she hates to love you.

alarming. isnt it?

mistakenly hopeful
had a good day
but friday the 13th was my luckiest
my birthday
and it all went down hill from there
wondered why
but wanted to know where it went
"who's this?"
on the other end of the line
the string broke
only a can to me ear
your smile in a flash
and gone in an instant
everything gone.
gone.
"is it typical for us to end like this..?"

xo

i waited for you after the movie
but you seemed to walk past
i waited for you so i could talk
but you werent in the mood
i asked to borrow a pen
but only wanted to touch your hand one more time
i wondered if you still liked me
even though you never looked my way
i notice you like never before
and miss how we used to be
i kept the picture of the choir in my hands
only to find us close
laughing at ourselves
through the blurry flash-less photo
i take my time from spanish to my car
only to see you at your locker
and to pass by
but only that is worth it
its a nice end to the day
"ashley, you're a great friend that doesnt care how i act. youre a good person. see you in high school"
miss you
xo

it could be.

standing in the shadows
but it was always in the spotlight
how he did it
why he wouldn't try
wearing your heart on your sleeve
and cutting the loose string
dropping to the floor
the trauma of the loss
the drama of the loss
spreading your wings
smiling more often than ever
glint in your eye
brown eyed and rimmed in fury
but washed away with the dove
and lined with a new sense of love.

found the reason why he's so appealing
closer to me than you
although the many times i searched for your house
just to know you're never far
but just not close enough to reach
better off eye to eye
than hand in hand
turn the lock cause you're never gettin in
holding you out
but wanting to hold you close
closer than the photo
beauty is in the eye of the beholder
or in the eyes of that green eyed girl
to that dark haired, brown eyed bombshell
exploding like a bomb
kamikazes summoning the living
hoping to be more alive, so alive
waiting for the chance to live
long with you

everyones a let down

she looked through the lens
blurred, she walked away
she wanted to see it through the eyes of someone else
wanted to break in
wanted to listen to the song and hope it ended well
hope this time she wouldn't cry
and this time, someone would be there
but talking in third person
never got her anywhere
but then again
neither did anything else.

"we say what we feel, then we stop ourselves"

admitting to it
but never saying it was yours
walking in slow motion
but you never came
he sits alone
and thinks
about what he's done
about what he's had
and whats going to become
of him
of her
she sits with her friends
trying not to think
about what she couldn't do
about she will never have
and what will bever become

and they never knew what they never had, never will have, never felt, and never
tried.

br(e)aking away. sinking to sho(u)re

i see you but the fog is setting in
setting into the valley of hearts and hope
hoping for hearts
and wanting a grip on the concept
a grip on your hand
holding onto for air
coming up for dear life
waiting for a chance
to be with you
to be with me
to finally understand why
all of the glances and awkward silences
always seem to come
hand in hand.

red light. green light.

too far from you
but moving too slow
shifter stuck in park
and the speedometer says no.
you're in the fast lane and i just can't pass you
so you dont know im there
waiting for you
to say go.

Doing everything I can to get to you.

"I can't help."

i cant explain you
and i listen to every mutilated love song i can
and write this hoping youre reading this as i type
but i know youre not
and i wanted to say that youre smile makes my day
every day
but i didnt have the heart to see your reaction
looked for a way to communicate with you again
and daydream about being with you later on.
i pray so
theres something about you
like you need someone
something to make you feel whole
"i cant help falling in love with you."
too bad you never notice me hurrying back
after class pretending not to be waiting for you at your locker
and when you leave
leaving too
only wishing i was leaving
with you.

I LOVE YOU

i looked for you today
and saw u alone
you didnt smile
"never stop smiling because you never
know who is in love with your smile"
its me
its me.
but its you who i love
and your eyes
love you
george.
forever
never forget it

and all i got was this stupid shirt.

i said i didnt
but i do
i said i hated you
but i dont
i said i just wanted to know youre around
but i want you with me
i said it has been too long
but i gave up
i said i gave up
but i didnt
i said you've kept me alive
and you did
i waited for an "i love you too"
but still never got it

lipstick lullabies

i secretly wish i had someone
and secretly wish you knew that.
i secretly wish there was someone to talk to
other than myself.
i dont get myself any more than anyone else does.
i secretly wish for a pair of eyes to come to everyday
when I'm not feeling like myself.
I secretly wish someone knew me better than my backstabbing friends
I secretly wish I knew i was liked for someone other than a good student
And a lab partner.
I secretly wish there was
you.

this is sorry for the last time.

i am sooooooo happy shawn hornbeck is home safe
what a beautiful lucky boy to have been able to come home safe.
i dont know why, but theres something about him
welcome home