failed that test

"you would look so cute together"
but thats what they always say
even though we are the same
we are so different
the green in your eyes tells a different story
than the green in mine.
and i want to know
if theres a way
to make the two collide
but i know you hate me now
even after the
"i wish our little fight never happened"
but you said
"it wasnt really a fight"
but its different now
and that wasnt the answer i was looking for
im giving up
and theres lies
and the tears i feel like crying are not going to
help.
she likes you too
and knows i love you
but doesnt know i know she likes you.
and i wish it was only me for once
after three years i gave up wanting that one
because i had no chance
and he knew.
now you know
and i should give up on you too now.
but for some reason
i cant
let go.

the snow shines so in the moonlight

i am always waiting for you
but you always leave without me
i always close one door
but seem to slam the other one
on the hopes
of us.
no one else will ever know
not even you
the curtains are blowing
in the breeze of the pain
that never seems to cease
why is it always you
that i think about
i cant explain how perfect you are
your flaws make you even more perfect.
i think you have potential to be
quite the person i wish you to be.
i am the queen
and i need a king
and in my mind,
you are the most royal of all.

why is it that everytime i walk by
you never know im alive
but i remember the times
that you went through my mind
and thats all i will ever know
for i love you so
we used to be so close
but now we are so far
in that crowded bright room
its so dark and lonely
i cant be with you
and i cant be without you
i am never too close
always too far
i wish you could see it
the way that i do
now.

im in the darkest corner of your heart
if i am anything anymore
to you
so wrong
in such denial
all i can think about is how there will never be
an i love you
a brush on the cheek with your own
that glisten in your eye
and i have to much time
to know that you will never know
how ignoring the fact that we both know
that you know that i still want you
(to be close again.)

i'll take a side of you with that.

i was so wrong about you
everything was a lie
every time you inched closer
was only because you didnt have room on the other side
i thought you were so much better than you really are
hiding behind the dark hoodie
you lied to me
constantly
i thought you were smart
do i seem like the type
i believed you
i was blinded
but i still look for you
you will never know how fast it all gets around
i know what you say
but you will never know what i think of you
too much time to think
means the more i hate the way i love you
so you better pray for a damn busy week for me
so you dont lose one more
for the record
i was betrayed
but yet i wish i could get back to you
i fantasize about forgiveness
i dream about the kiss and make-up
really, only the kiss
but its too late
that night i wish i wasnt alive
i wish i had no keyboard
that bred every tear
every letter on "caps lock"
every hot rash on my chest
it was all for you
thats all it will ever be

a lie ripened by time

she ruins everything
she said she would help
but she's on your side
like talking behind your back
but it's behind mine
i know you talk
you would bet on her
but i can just go to hell
she fucks everything up.
everything.

i wish i couldnt hate you
i never did anything to you
every cut i had
you dug deeper
with the knife of your heart
literally
if only i didnt care so much about you
if only you knew me better
and knew how i would react to you
and your lies
youve hurt me
more than you know
the tears have dried
but once i look into your eyes again
theyll wet my face once again
cooper i (love) hate you

i will always love you
although youve caused so much hurt
so much jealousy
i keep having dreams
and i tell them
and forget they will never come true
but what am i supposed to do?
i know you know
what im talking about
firsthand

whenever you wear something dark
youre eyes are as light and bright as the sun
whenever you wear something light
youre eyes are as dark and mysterious
as i always knew you to be
i guess i have spent way too much time
looking in to your beautiful eyes....

-"would you be sad if i died?"
-"dont ask me that"

i went to a wedding last night
and all i could think of was you and me
the ring slid on my finger with the touch of yours
the "i do" said by your soft voice
every picture with your shining face next to mine
i hate weddings.

everything you say
i was was about me
everything you do
i wish was with me
im getting jealous
of everything you say to her
and every smile
i think i see a glint in your eye
that im afraid to know
what that means.
"you just brought me down"
"all i wanted was your love, love, love, love"

once upon a midnight dreary
i drowned in my tears
of you
every thought
every moment
every word
is you
every moonlit night is spent
without you
every sunfilled sky
is missing you
you are what makes me,
me.

ive been waiting for you
so long
where have you been?
i miss us
i miss 'accidentally' brushing past you
you unzip your jacket and all i see is your skin
and a stunning black bow-tie
and a broken heart

our fingers eternally intertwined.
in a promise of "i love you's"
the right side of my heart
matching the left of yours
so we make a whole
one can on the end of the string
wont work without the other
i can still hear you
can you hear me?

not enough time in a day

i wish you were here with me
right here
right now.

im done trying to get to you
whenever i look into your eyes
i get farther away
"shes cool. i like her as a friend"
make him like me
make him jealous of not having me
make that fire scorch his feelings he doesnt have for me
i want to be with you
i love you
im pretty sure i could look into your eyes forever
run my fingers through your hair until i die
huddle by the fire with you until a bonfire ruins our forest
lay with you every night until im tired of being rested
i know it seems a stretch
but i love you
my heart breaks every time you look at her the way you dont look
at me
i wish you knew
i wish i could tell you







(sorry if everything i write is repetitive, but i think you get the point)

i saw u dancing with her
and her too
i saw u look at me
and look away
i got closer to you
and you went away
i looked at you constantly
and so did you
until our eyes met
cooper i love you

you know that whenever our eyes meet something clicks
the beautiful light green of your eyes mixes with the green of mine
im the most odd of ways
but you know it means something great
"who ya like?"
"what if i said i liked you?"
"then i would say thats cool"
do u know what you mean to me?
i can't think of anything but you.

the wiper blades wipe away more than rain

the sky seems so much bluer
the water so much shallower
the snow melting so much faster
the birds so much livelier
my dreams so much better
the day so much sweeter
the time spent without you so much longer
why are you so addicting
why?

"when dreaming you was so easy."

ive hit the black ice

i know you know i want you
i know you know i think were a good idea
i know you know i love to talk to you
i know you know i cant get enough of your eyes
the green
the exasperating green
so light that im swallowed by the dark everywhere else
i know they know i love you
i know they know you think about me too
i know they know were good together
so perfect
i know i know i need you
i know i know i dream about you
each night
every picture i picture you standing next to me
the picture couldnt be more perfect
you
and me
me
and you
i can picture us better every time i see you
every time i look into your eyes
every time i think of our laced fingers
our bodies touch
your hair so soft against mine
so perfect you
so perfect us
i love you
but now what?

i hate the way the snow always melts at the top of the mountain
the way the moon shines in through my shades
it always reminds me of you
the way you are always different to me
always you
but always different
i cant stand seeing you like that
but i cant help but smile at your misfortunes
you deserve it
every last twinge of pain
but i love you
why do i have to love you so much

secrets DO make friends

Boy, theres a lot of sky in the clouds tonight

1- never give anything of value to walter or collin
2- theres always a way out of a sinking ship- you just have to find the ways out
3- no matter how lonely it feels, theres always someone to see just how lonely you are
4- hard work pays off, if you do the work right

theres a fire blazing inside

as the flames scorch your heart it melts. you cant deny that.

sooner or later the ribbon will come untied and the gift will be opened

but its a gag gift. of course it is.

nothing with you is ever serious. nothing. the s'mores above the rocky pit are being burned just as fast as the body in the car.


but i hope youll be okay.

the bite was too big

im choking on you. and i cant breathe. ya know, you don't go down easily, and i don't think im going to make it after this last bite. you are too much to handle. too much to focus on. it makes my head hurt. like a stab in the chest you're always there. why are you so appealing? you arent even that wanted. but someone wants you more than i do. but i just hope they choke on you first.

concourse C

everything in moderation. except for you. i cant get enough of that drug that you supply me. the baggage claim has stopped. its mine now. you're mine now. but only if you take your seat 15 minutes before departure. its you that i want. its what you supply thats what we need. its a feeling of admiration that we are lacking. but you have it

its always you

an angel who sleeps near me. an angel who breathes the same air i do. an angel that i can see as if you were mine...

a love bigger than the earth

who do we love? why do we love? hmm...


you sit and think about that until your eyes and ears and brain are sealed tight with the night

"Find a safe place, brace yourself, bite your lips. I'm sending your fingernails and empty bottles you've sipped back to your family 'cause I know you will be missed...."


fall out boy changed my life.

theres that feeling of loneliness
the feeling of being unloved
the feeling of not haveing friends

and i finally know why

last year i saw my friends all of the time and now...i dont see them at all


they are all gone and i never see them seeing as how i have no classes with the people i got to know

i miss you grant
i miss you carrie
i miss you george
i miss you clay
i miss you old times

If you ever get a chance, check out Walter Wood, an awesome skiier from Colorado. I swear that kid's gonna get to the Olympics one day. Walter, Ill aways love you and I'm so glad you're back! I missed you more than I can say, and I cried when you left. Welcome back bitchh!!

I try to wonder what's going on in his head whenever our eyes meet. It's like a place that I can't seem to get to, but only he can and there is no map to get there. Then sometimes I wonder if that place I hope is there, really is there. Like what I'm thinking, hes thinking too, but just doesn't want to say it. What's wrong with me? What's with this phalocentric world making me feel so under his level. Like the deciding factor is him and what he wants. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it does to me. In the long run I don't even know if it's you that I want. Is it the other one I've been watching for a while...or is it you? Something seems wrong with falling in love with one of your best friends. But is there anything wrong?